Annapolis Passes Anti-NRA Law

Website to be blocked among other measures

Annapolis (SPP) – At last night’s Annapolis City Council meeting, decisive action was taken to shut down the NRA in the city. Dubbed the Anti-NRA law, the “Restore Freedom and Peace Act” co-sponsored by Alderman Marc Rodriguez (D) and Mayor Gavin Buckley (D) passed with near unanimity.

The controversial bill, which many legal experts say will face stiff legal challenges, bans the NRA from holding events and soliciting within the city, fines NRA members who are city residents $1000 a year, and most controversially demands that internet service providers operating within the city block access to the NRA website.

“The NRA is a terrorist organization,” Alderman Rodriguez said during debate. “We wouldn’t let ISIS operate in Annapolis, so why should we allow the NRA?”

Alderman Fred Paone (R) objected on the grounds that the measures were “grossly unconstitutional and insane.” “So we’re going to spend city resources shutting down political debate? How can any of you think that is okay?” Paone loudly complained.

Representatives from Comcast, Verizon, and several phone carriers were called to testify. All said that they had the ability to identify which of their customers lived within the city limits and could easily block access to the site for those users. They also pledged to shut down virtual private networks (VPNs) for those accounts so there could be no cheating.

Mayor Buckley gave a passionate speech defending the bill. “After a massacre years ago in Australia, we took away everyone’s guns and banned organizations dedicated to gun culture. As a result, we have seen a massive drop in crime. Children are now free from the fear of getting shot, so they can play in the fields with crocodiles and all their other wild animal friends.”

At the end of the speech, Buckley jumped up on the City Council’s table and danced in the well with his “Ban the NRA” sign.

Alderman Fred Paone angerly announced that he was disgusted and walked out of the chamber not to return.